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Questions on Marriage
1. A brother in Christ is not married and lives with a woman with whom he has three children. He had an encounter with Christ and the woman pursues him constantly and there is talk of separation. So I wonder if this is allowed is biblical separation and a new marriage with a sister in Christ.
When a man and a woman come together to form a home, I believe, before God, they are a couple, regardless of record for legal support. A Christian couple must obey the authority of the law of the country and formalize their marriage before joining, or rectify the situation soon after his conversion.
I understand that in the proposed case, the husband became and has new life in Christ, but his wife rejects salvation and want to leave it as soon as the legalization of marriage is not viable.
In cases like the Bible is clear: "If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she consents to live with him, not leave her ... But if the unbeliever (her) if she depart, let him depart, for this case A brother or a sister is not under bondage, because God called us to peace. "(1 Cor 7:13, 15).
This reminds us of the examples given with the people of Israel, when there were marriages between Israelites and Gentile women in exile. In return, the Israelites were commanded away their wives and children they had with them (10:2-3 Ezra and Nehemiah 13:23-25). The instruction given to believers is that, unlike those Jews, do not get separated from their unbelieving spouses if they consent to live with them. But if the unbelievers do not consent, then they separate, leaving the faithful free as if there was no marriage.
The release of the believer of a marriage with an infidel is complete, as if unmarried or widowed, you can then contract a new marriage. The prohibition found in the verse in 1 Corinthians 7:11 is addressed only to wife or husband of a couple where both are believers.
Returning to the case in focus, we must think of the children: if they are left by the woman with her husband, he will have the privilege of educating them in the way of the Lord. Anyway, he continues with a moral duty to give them support in their power, material, moral and spiritual.
For information related to this subject, read this article .
2. We are responsible for the group of couples in our church. We were approached by a sister who committed adultery with another church member. She repented, but has not confessed to her husband. We do not want to press it. What about the lover, what should we do? Look it up and say what we know or just pray that the Holy Spirit to convict?
I think it is not necessary here to describe the severity of the sin of adultery. I will confine myself to highlight certain features:
- is a sin against the spouse, who was sworn fidelity during marriage and now he was betrayed. This is the only offense for which the Lord Jesus allowed divorce.
- is a sin against the church. The seventh commandment of God's law is "not commit adultery" and, during the "Old Testament" when God's people were the people of Israel, adultery was subject to the death penalty in order to eliminate the culprits from among the congregation .
- is a sin against God who instituted marriage between man and woman.
But that is a more serious sin, the Lord Jesus gave His life on the cross for him and is able to forgive him. In the case of adultery He gave example of the synagogue, see on John 8:2 to 11.
The believer who commits this sin, and truly repent, have God's forgiveness in confession. But as he sinned against his spouse and against the church which is a member, should also ask their forgiveness. In an attitude of great humility and repentance, to confess the offense did your husband or wife, as appropriate, and the direction of the church which is a member, and ask your forgiveness.
It is possible that sin is not of their knowledge, but one day will be, and continues as an "unpaid debt" of offending until there is obtained a confession and forgiveness. It's like an open wound in consciousness. The only debt allowed the believer is "the love that you love one another." This is the debt we incur when we receive Christ as our Savior and Lord, for His is the great commandment to us and is a continuing obligation.
I recommend reading here for more details.
For the two questions that were formulated in view of the situation I advise the following:
- "We do not want to press it" really is not a case of pressing the guilty. She herself must make that decision, once educated on the debt it owes to her husband, and we pray that the Holy Spirit directs their actions and words as well as those of her husband, to the glory of the Lord Jesus Christ did everything to bring us peace, joy and fellowship in His name.
- The man involved is equally guilty. King David committed adultery secretly with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:12) and thought that nobody knew, but God has sent the prophet Nathan to warn him and announce the punishment to come. This gave David the opportunity to repent and ask God's forgiveness. It is important that this man is warned, and if it is really a Christian, has the opportunity to repent and restore their communion with God, the church, and that injured people get hold of the strange woman. It can be a difficult task, as was the prophet Nathan, who used a parable to "prepare the ground," and ought to be held by the direction of the church against whom he sinned. It is true that the cuckolded husband also has every right to go to him for that purpose, as Matthew 15:17 (see here in this regard), but a subject like this emotions may be too strong to be contained.
3. I have read the valuable comments of dear brother Richard Jones about "Divorce and remarriage." I would interpret it as his understanding, the texts from Romans 7:2-3 and I Corinthians 7:39.
Consider: "For the woman who is subject to her husband while he lives, you are bound by the law, but her husband dies she is free from the law of her husband. So then living husband, will be called an adulteress if of another husband, but her husband dies she is free from that law and thus not an adulteress if her husband of another "(Romans 7:2-3). Paul is using the marriage relationship according to the law of Moses as an illustration of the relationship between man and the law. As the woman is free from the bonds of marriage when her husband dies, so the believer is free from the law of Moses when he accepts Christ's death instead.
According to the law, a married woman will be called an adulteress (subject to the death penalty) if you have another husband while he lives the first, but when he dies she is free the first sentence of the law if you have another husband. Paul says nothing about divorce here, because it is not part of the illustration.
Instructions on divorce, under certain circumstances permitted by the law of Moses, appear elsewhere. Moreover, if the first husband to betray him, adulterating with another woman, he would be subject to the death penalty, thereby freeing the woman to remarry. Today you can not stone the adulterous husband, leaving the divorce (Matthew 19:9).
Also: "The wife is bound by law as long as her husband liveth: but if her husband dies, is free to marry whom she wishes, only in the Lord" (1 Corinthians 7:39). Again, these are not instructions concerning the divorce. Here the apostle is instructing believers to widows, were arrested by divine law to their husbands while they lived, but after his death they could marry again since it was "the Lord": not an unbeliever.
The expression "the Lord" can mean even more: it is the will of the Lord, that is, she would ask the Lord's direction in this matter to ensure that the Lord approves this marriage.
4. I once read the title of a book which said: STARTS IN DIVORCE DATING. This got me thinking. I was married to a believing person, and eight years after we parted. Now he's dating a woman also separate the two and attend another church. Our relationship from courtship has always been very troubled, however, was sure of my feelings for him. And now? What position should I take? According to his thinking, God allows this new relationship for him and for me. Is that right? I am aware that he could have acted differently in many situations, but what if the other party no longer wanted to live with me? Should I expect a reconciliation? And if he marry? Could I return to live with him if he wanted to be reconciled?
I recommend a careful reading of 1 Corinthians chapter 7.
Your husband is wrong. The Lord Jesus said: "What God hath joined together let no man put asunder" (Mark 10:9). It is a commandment forbidding marital separation, and separation, therefore, a sin before God. This does not mean that marriage is indissoluble, because if the man was not able to separate and thus committing the sin.
A couple of proof to all believers that God dwells in us by the practice of the great commandment of Christ that we should love one another (1 John 4:13); further, the husband must love his wife as Christ loved the church, and wife should be submissive to your husbands, as unto the Lord (Ephesians 5:22-33).
A Christian woman should not be separated from her husband, nor the Christian husband of his wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11), as the Lord had said to the Jews if, disobedient wife (or husband, we also understand) to separate, she should not marry again, but to seek a reconciliation. As I understand by your question, your husband has not provided the divorce, but is already dating another woman. In intent, even if it has actually occurred, it probably also is committing the sin of adultery (Matthew 5:27).
Although, according to the Lord, immorality on the part of one spouse is a legitimate reason for divorce (Matthew 19:9), offended the Christian spouse (in this case you) have the opportunity, if not the duty, to reconcile with the unfaithful spouse if he confess his offense and ask his forgiveness (Mark 11:26), just as Christ forgives all sin (1 John 1:9).
Her husband can not remarry without first divorcing you, and divorce is the result of the sin of separation. Whoever declares himself a believer and divorces, is denying his faith. The remarriage is adultery him. If, after you divorced and remarried, her husband repents, he can not return to live with you because the previous marriage was dissolved and he was no longer her husband. There had to be new divorce and remarriage - more sin. Complicated ...
5. Anyone who divorces (except for your spouse's infidelity as Matthew 19:9 ), and marries another, commits adultery or live in? For if he committed adultery can be forgiven by the blood of Christ, but we live in adultery is written that adulterers (living adulterating) not enter the kingdom of God.
This is a direct question, and deserves a direct answer. The original text says that commits. The fact marry another is adultery. Adultery, like all other sins, "minor" or "major", ie, all sin, past, present and future is forgiven the one who puts his faith in the Lord Jesus, and repent, confess their sins to Him
God hates divorce, but He never intended to happen with a couple.
But not why God fails to recognize that there is a legitimate divorce, coming to say that, in spiritual terms, in a figure himself divorced his wife, Israel (Jeremiah 3:8). The Lord Jesus showed that divorce is legitimate when the other spouse "commits infidelity" discusses what this means much, but whatever it is, consists of legitimate reason for divorce. In our day, often one spouse leaves the other and just managed to get a divorce without adultery has been the other party, this was not mentioned in the biblical text, as the Mosaic law did not provide for divorce promoted by women, or even divorce for adultery, because the adulterous spouse would be stoned. No doubt there will be other examples to show that it would be unfair to judge all cases based solely on Matthew 19:9.
An adulterer was defined by the Lord Jesus as someone who habitually lurid nature leans to the pleasures of sex, sensuality and voluptuousness ( Matthew 5:28 ) and that is what is meant by "living in adultery." It is an unfair and will not inherit the kingdom of God, and fornicators, idolaters, effeminate, sodomites, thieves, covetous, drunkards, revilers, and swindlers. Are characteristic of the sinful nature that some of us had, but have been washed, sanctified and justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and the Spirit of our God. Now in all things are lawful, but not all agree ( 1 Corinthians 6:10,11 ).
Salvation is free gift of God and eternal: not given conditionally. Nobody, not ourselves in a moment of madness, you can take it from us. A person who professes to be a believer in Christ, but still have the characteristics demonstrating the sinful nature in fact has never been washed, sanctified and justified. His profession of faith goes out the mouth, but his heart remains in sin.
6. Our church has discussed a case of two people who are divorced by their spouses' marital infidelity and now want to get married. In Matthew, Jesus said that we should not give a writing of divorcement EXCEPT IN CASE OF ILLICIT RELATIONS. In the case above, both have gone through this situation with their spouses, and would be able to marry. My question is: how are the texts of Romans 7 and 1st Corinthians 7, which state that while their spouses are alive, they are vetted to remarry? We understand now that even in giving a certificate of divorce, as in Matthew, they could not marry again? The separation referred to in Romans and Corinthians are not means to isolated cases or exceptions, but in all cases, without a precedent?
The text of Romans 7:1-3 contains no doctrine or rules about marriage and divorce, because the issue is not marriage and divorce. This is an illustration about the fact that the law of Moses died at the sacrifice of Christ's body, so that those who were subject to it being released to serve Him who rose from the dead, and bear fruit to God. The illustration is based on the law of Moses according to which the woman is bound to her husband while he lives, and that death frees him to marry again. In other words, when the husband dies the widow is "single" again.
A divorce by the husband (allowed by the law of Moses, giving her freedom to remarry), obviously does not fit in the illustration. Chapter 7 of 1 Corinthians is the doctrine of marriage, in addition to the foundation laid by the Lord Jesus in his ministry with respect to divorce the law of Moses (Matthew 5:31-32, 19:8-12, Mark 10:2 and Luke 16:18 -12). In short: Any divorce (outside on the grounds of immorality) is the result of disobedience to God, and leads to adultery. When converted, a person should not leave your spouse if he continues to awe but still want to continue with it, especially if they have children, because they may be led to Christ by the believer, and in this sense are "saints." But if the unbelieving spouse resolve to leave it, the converted person will no longer be "subject to bondage" because we were "called to peace": divorce dissolves the marriage bond. Although not explicitly stated, it is the understanding that, being the innocent party, the husband (or wife) who has been divorced believer is free to contract a new marriage because, in Paul's words "because of the impurity, each having its own wife and each woman have her own husband "(1 Corinthians 7:2).
A Christian woman should not be separated from her husband, nor the Christian husband of his wife (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). If disobedient wife (or husband, we also understand) to break up, she should not marry again, but to seek a reconciliation. Although, according to the Lord, immorality is a legitimate reason for divorce, the Christian spouse have offended the opportunity, if not the duty, to reconcile with the unfaithful spouse if he confess his offense and asking your forgiveness (Mark 11 : 26), just as Christ forgives all sin (1 John 1:9).
Sometimes situations arise in which one spouse is supposed believer flees to his duties, and disobedient to God, separates and then get a divorce. For example, if a believer's wife divorces him legally for any reason permitted by applicable law in the country, can he marry again? Regardless of the legal reason, if there is immorality of the woman (and usually is), there seems no doubt that yes, according to the teaching of the Lord. But this woman, if you really believing and repenting, to what we understand should not remarry (1 Corinthians 7:11).
Whoever declares himself a believer and divorces, is denying his faith. Other situations may still arise and must be studied carefully in the light of the Bible, always using as mercy is God's will: "be merciful, even as your Father is merciful" (Luke 6:36), and "I desire mercy, and not sacrifice "(Hosea 6:6). For more details, I recommend reading the article " Divorce to Remarriage . "
7. Why did the Lord God bless the men who were fearing his word, as Abraham, Jacob, David, etc., these men who practiced polygamy, and was not the Lord's will that procedure?
Do not read that God has rebuked the practice of polygamy by these men, very loyal to him and consecrated, but all three suffered serious consequences of it, for the children, if not women, gave them great distress.
Marriage was instituted by God in paradise when Adam and Eve were formed and were in a state of innocence. The principle of monogamy is the Creator made ??the statement that: "... a man shall leave father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh ..." (Genesis 2:18 - 24 and Matthew 19:4,5). But this statement does not take long to be disobeyed, as we see in Genesis 4:19 and 6:2, and eventually came to be such corruption and violence in humanity that God destroyed it all but Noah and his family, who returned to populate earth.
Polygamy and concubinage continued to be practiced freely, the prevailing patriarchal age. Polygamy was recognized in the law of Moses and regulated, establishing some restrictions on the wives relatives. In the absence of any explanation, we think it is possible that polygamy was tolerated by the law of Moses because of the hardness of people's hearts, as was the divorce (Matthew 19:8). Polygamy was practiced by the Israelites until the time of captivity. The last prophet, Malachi, preached against polygamy and divorce (Chapter 2:13-16). Those who are saved through faith in the Lord Jesus seek to obey God's commandments and obey the principle of monogamy, which is also a symbol of Christ's union with His church (Ephesians 5:25-27).
8. It is wrong to use contraception within marriage?
The generation of children is a normal consequence of marriage, being in God's plan since the creation of Adam and Eve, who formed the first couple (Genesis 1:28). Children are a heritage from the Lord and his reward (Psalm 127:3).
Women in the Bible, particularly in the Old Testament, were unhappy and felt disadvantaged if they were sterile. The use of contraceptive methods, which were very primitive at the time, is not mentioned, except in one case, that of Onan, who practiced it so not to give the successor to his deceased brother, whose widow had married at the behest of his father. What he did was evil in the eyes of the LORD, who killed him (Genesis 38:10).
It seems evident that the Lord was displeased that he had refused to give seed to his elder brother, but there is the view which was to have used a contraceptive method (which is the basis of the ban on contraception held by the Roman Catholic Institution). In the absence of any command the respect, or even a mere suggestion on the rejection or non-use of contraceptive methods, I see no justification to build a doctrine on it.
It is normal and correct that a couple wishes to have children after her marriage. It is also possible that there are good reasons to avoid having them, and that the couple wishes to prudently use a contraceptive method, either natural, artificial or even sterilization. It is important that the couple is in full agreement about what to do and you feel free before God to do so, after asking for His direction.